Someone Always Mourns: On the Passing of Robin Williams and To Those Who Contemplate Suicide

 Someone always mourns.
You will always be missed.

You have robbed the world of your presence, and left a hole that cannot be filled.

No matter who you are. What you have done.

You cannot make the choice to exit this world 

and not open questions and sorrow in the hearts left behind.


I am deeply saddened. No. My heart aches over the lately departed Robin Williams. 

To be so appreciated, applauded, and respected, he left this world alone and hurting. 

I wish so earnestly that someone could have given him Hope. 

The Hope that could have saved his life here and eternally.

Hope and Peace...the Ultimate Hope and Peace that comes by no other name then that of Jesus. 

That name alone could have silenced Williams' demons.

I grew up with his voice, his kind and funny face. 

And though I never met him, never reached out to him...as a person that existed not to him, 

I feel a sad, gray emptiness that he has gone. 

I didn't always support every role and work that he committed himself to, but I recognized in him a genuine, compassionate person...a soul of deep waters. 

He refreshed a thirsty world, yet couldn't calm the stormy waves that raged inside. 
And I sorrow for him.

To anyone who considers ending their life, STOP.

Stop and see the ripples from Williams' death. 

The man had his demons, he had his legitimate issues...
but see the flood of well wishes, supporters, admirers and tear streaked faces he leaves in his wake. 

Those same people could have been his support system. 
You are never alone. 
Your absence will not go unnoticed. 
There is always someone who mourns. 

My children will grow up in a world without the talented, funny and kind hearted man found in Robin Williams that through the wonder of film, made himself at home in my childhood.
Now, when his name is mentioned they will say "Robin who?" and will grow up thinking of him as the dead guy who does the voice of Genie. 
There will be no personal connection...
a curtain has been drawn over time that they can never be seen through clearly. 

That is the same sort of hole you will leave if you take your life too, friend. 
You are not killing your demons, you are leaving them to haunt your loved ones.
You are not bringing to an end the loneliness you feel, you are only further and forever separating yourself further from those living and those you could have met in the future.

 
And if you have not made the choice to accept Jesus...you are not ending a life of torment and coming into peace, you are leaving the only world where an invitation of Peace has been offered to you and entering into an eternal world of torment.


And there is always someone who mourns.

When you leave this world without Christ as your Savior....God mourns. 
He mourns that you will be forever separated from Him in your eternal life because you didn't make the choice to be with Him in this present life. 
It is your choice. 
You can choose life...or you can choose death.


 "This day...I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life..."
~Deuteronomy 30:19~

These words were a challenge and an invitation issued by God Himself.
Daily, He invites us to choose life...
and the Bible says in John 14:6 that Jesus said of himself, " I am THE Life".

I pray you choose Him.

I pray you choose Peace. 

I pray you choose Hope.

I pray you take the Hand that can lift you from the stormy waves.

I pray you heed the Voice that can silence your demons.

I pray... 
you choose Life.

Day 28: Unshrinking

Today is the last day of the Blog Everyday in February Challenge!

Can you believe it?

My last post in this series, is to share one, little, meaningful word.

And I have just the one.

U N S H R I N K I N G

" Not shrinking from danger, unflinching, unhesitating, unintimidated, unblinking,

fearless, resolute in facing fears and danger."

This is my word for the year...my theme, my goal.

Naturally, I tend to be a shy person at first.
One of my ever-present faults is that I over analyze everything...to death.
I'll analyze something to the point that I practically cripple myself,
and usually decide against it, simply because it is the easiest route.












 That is why I've chosen this word.

unshrinking

In my life, I have hemmed myself in....
I come upon a cross roads and after analyzing the risks,
decide, no, I don't want to go that way; only to turn around and be
faced with another frightening cross road.

In all honesty,
I've no were else to turn now.
In too many areas I've turned around hoping for an easier, clearer path.
But my heart can't live in the 'easy'...it really longs for the grand adventures.
I have to choose the risks, and face them unshrinkingly.





To live the life I desire and be the person I want,
I must choose to be...

unshrinking.


If you could choose one word to live by this year,
what would it be?

 ~~~~

I'm linking up at Anchored in Love Divine
for the Blog Everyday in February Challenge!

Day #11: A Traveling Story

 Want to know a secret?

I hate flying.

Okay, maybe hate is too strong a word, but I certainly don't like it.

However I've kept it no secret on this blog that I want to travel.

Hmmm....
Does anyone else see a problem here?

Yeah, see, in just a few seconds you made the connection
that flying fears and world wanderings don't exactly co-habitat very well.

Believe it or not,
it wasn't until this past December that I was able to connect the dots.

My brother and I had the chance to go visit some of our family
in Minnesota just before the holidays.
And while I was really looking forward to the trip- I was dreading flying.

I would much rather make the 24 hour drive than fly it!

Seriously,
I was almost making myself sick with anxiety.

Now,
it isn't the act of flying so much that I dislike,
it is security and whole rigmarole of maneuvering the airport,
gates, times, tickets, luggage, that gets my stomach in a knot.

When I was younger, I used to fly on many occasions
in a small 4-seater airplane with my uncle.
Back in those days I had lots of problems with my ears hurting,
and that was the reason behind my fear of flying
Since then, my ears don't pain me like they used to,
but I don't fly in a small 4-seater any more either.

 So, the nigh before our departure to Minnesota
I was in the throes of anxiety, when it suddenly struck me...
"This just won't do. 
Someday, I want to travel to other parts of the world.
I certainly can't walk there!
In order to get where I want, I have to overcome this fear!"

This gave me just the transfusion of steal I needed in my veins
to march tall and unshaken through the airport.


Never mind that in the midst of my confident stride down the loading ramp,
 I left before the stewardess could give me my ticket.
Never mind that my brother had to grab my ticket along with his own and jog after me
so I could even get on the plane.
Never mind that this scene played out in the view of a dashing fellow traveler,
who in fact, I was trying to put on my best "I got this" act for.
Yeah.
That doesn't matter.

What matters is that I made a giant step towards overcoming my flying fears.
Even if that means my brother jogging after me, I still feel it was great progress.

Cold? Who's cold! I'm Epic Man!

What's orange and white and cold all over?Me!

 In the end, we were both able to enjoy freezing our bums off
in the beautiful winter wonderland of our home state!

Yes.
I'm wearing blaze orange and boots that about four sizes too big.
Don't judge me.
Hey, you would too in below zero temps!
And besides, I had been weakened by living in Texas for five years.

Let's hope next time, I'll remember to wait for my own ticket
before sauntering away!

~~~~
I'm linking up at Anchored in Love Divine
for the Blog Everyday in February Challenge!

Day 3#: What Scares Me

"What scares you most?"

Loaded question, no?

Of course there are the usual things that pop into your head...

big bugs,

snakes,

tornadoes,

big bugs and snakes swirling around inside tornadoes...no?...just me? M'kay.

But then there are other things...more serious things.

What scares me most is this.

God has placed great potential in me, as in all of us.

What if I don't realize that potential?

What if I don't accomplish all that I'm capable of?

 

What I fear most is a wasted life.

When it comes to video games,

I am one of those people who go for broke.

I collect all the coins, break all the blocks, squash all the bad guys (Mario World, anyone?),

gather up all the bonuses and achieve expert on every level.

If I miss even one item, I'll restart and do it over because I want it just perfect.

 

For a long time, I felt that way about my life.

I've made some mistakes in my life, done things good Christian girls ought not do.

And I desperately wished for a restart button.

There were dark moments even, when I wished I could just quit because I knew I had missed my mark.

 

That is when God taught me about His grace.

Grace is God's restart button.

His mercies are new every morning.

 

So while I have relaxed my perfectionistic grip on life,

I still beg God to make my life count.

I'm don't want to get to heaven and see a picture of what my life was meant to be 

only to realize I missed the mark because of fear or stubbornness.

 

In some ways, 

I'm most scared of myself.

I most afraid of the chances I won't take,

the people I'm too afraid to talk to,

the prayers I'm too busy to pray,

and the words I'm too afraid to speak. 

Even my fear of a wasted life,

as noble or good as it may seem,

is still fear...it is still not good.

 

I have to remind myself that

Jesus is the author and perfecter of my faith (Hebrews 12:2).

If He wrote my story, He'll finish it.

And He will make perfect what I cannot.

He will finish the work He started in me (Phil. 1:6), the work He started...not I, but He.

And He has a plan for my life (Jere. 29:11) and even before I was born He knew me

(Jere. 1:5) and knowing me, He knew what my strengths and weaknesses would be.

 

 And I guess the only way I know how to end this post

is by leaving you with this verse.

 

"What, then, shall we say in response to this? 

If God is for us, who can be against us?"

Romans 8:31 

~~~~
I'm linking up at Anchored in Love Divine
for the Blog Everyday in February Challenge!

Refashion Runway 2: Winter White

It is hard to believe this is the last week of Refashion Runway,

or as my family has dubbed it, ‘Runaway’, challenge!

 It is true, during this competition it was easy to let an idea runaway with me!

 

And that was certainly the case with this week’s Winter White project.

Let’s just say, I almost bit off more than I could chew and nearly chocked!

As a pretty new sewist (sewer…? seamstress…?),

I had never worked with silky fabrics before…until this week when I picked up

a huge blue top and a lovely cream blouse which was busting buttons at the bosom.

 I also had a 100% wool pleated skirt which I planned to spice up.

 

 

 

Just a heads up,

this was a very difficult project for me, I was pretty exhausted from pushing so hard last week,

and to top it off, I was fighting off a little cold/allergies.

Translated, this means there aren't very many process pictures.

I was rushing against time and really just wanted to get it done!

Plus I was making it up as I went along!

Not to mention that everything that could possibly go wrong, did.

 

 

I had a vision for a two toned sort of illusion top,

 so I set to work tearing apart my shirts.

 

 

 

 

One of the shoulders was open, so I took off the buttons...

 

 

 

 

and the tie collar...

 

 

 

 

and the bottom hem, which had a small strip of elastic at one side,

and more buttons on the other.

 

 

 

 

Then I removed the sleeves and collar from the cream shirt.

 

 

 

And separated the front from the back.

 

 

 

 

Some experimenting followed, resulting in a curvy silhouette pattern piece.

I folded my shirt piece in half, laid the pattern on the fold

and cut along the outside curved edge.

 

 

 

 

After cutting, this is what I had.

 

 

 

Returning to my blue top, I sliced it up the middle.

This shirt was made with two layers,

 so I basted them along the cut edges in an attempt to try and keep things all together.

 

 



 

 

I know there was some math and figuring involved at this point,

but honestly, it is all a blur.

I basically laid the cream piece over one side of the blue top...

 

 

...then traced the line where I wanted to connect it.

 

 



 

 

This material was fray ca-raaazy! This meant I needed to do French seams on everything.

So, I pinned my pieces together, with the seam on the outside.

 

 

After sewing that first seam, trimming the edge,

then folding over and sewing again, this is what one completed side looked this.

 

This basic process was repeated for the other side.

 

 



 

 

At this point, I was still working with a very large shirt,

so I pinned on the sleeves (which fit) so I could see where they ended.

This gave me the guideline for how much I needed to take in at the sides.

 

 

 

 

Even after taking in the sides,

there was still a lot of extra bulk in the back on account of the gathered neckline.

I resolved this by adding a series of pleats in the small of the back.

 

 

 

 

I also pinned and sewed the shoulders together.

 

 

 

 

This made the neckline in the front a little too high,

so I measured, chopped some off,

then covered it with bias tape.

 

 

 

 

This was concealed under the blue tie collar that I reattached.

(This process was tricky, frustrating and involved, so I'll spare you the details.)

 

 

 

 

After all the fitting changes were made,

it was time to connect the sleeves in earnest.

 

 

Because the sleeves were also attached with a French seam,

they ended up a little shorter than they ought to be.

The shirt was a little too stuffy with long sleeves anyway,

so I chopped off some length and made them 3/4 sleeves.

 

 

 

 

This of course left a raw edge,

with I trimmed with some of the blue scrap which

I collected from the hem of the shirt.

 

 

 

 

I attached the blue strip just like you would attach bias tape.

 

Once my shirt was finally done (!!!)

I turned my attention to the cream skirt.

 

 

 

To spruce up my skirt,

I simply straight stitched about a dozen rows around the bottom of the hem in deep blue thread,

varying the distance between each to create the appearance of bands.

I measured how far up I wanted my stitching to start, in my case it was 3 inches.

Then I made tiny marks all the way around so I had a guide for my fist row of stitches.

 

This was the same stitching method I used on my peplum top.

I really like it, I think it adds so much to a piece!

I'm tempted to go through my closet and do this to all my skirts!

 

And here it is finished up and paired together!

 

 

 

Here is the back.

 

 

With the shirt untucked, here is a better view of the pleats.

 

 In this photo shoot,

I have the shirt tucked in because it looked better that way with the skirt.

But I made sure to keep the length of the shirt a bit longer, since I have a long torso.

This top would also look great untucked with a pair of jeans or nice slacks!

 

 I really like how the sleeves turned out, trimmed in blue.

I'm really glad too that I shortened the length.

 

 

And here is close up of the hem stitching on the skirt.



 

 

 

Believe it or not, this outfit took all…stinking…week!
I seriously underestimated working with this silky polyester fabric,

which had me scurrying frantically to finish up what I thought was going to be a simple project.

 All in all, I really like the way my outfit turned out,

and I’m more than thrilled that I still have my sanity intact!

 

Now, head on over to The Renegade Seamstress

and vote for your favorite Winter White refashion!

 

The overall winner and final placement of all four remaining

women will be determined by this week's scores and votes,

which will be announcement this Saturday!

What 'Seams' Impossible

 

Have you ever tried to learn something new and it just. didn't. make. sense?!

 

It feels like learning an alien language...

 

fitting a square peg into a round hole....

 

trying to pretend you could live without chocolate...

 

some things are just impossible.

 

 

 

That was me when it came to sewing.

 

Honestly, I can't count the times I tried to learn to sew over the course of my lifetime.

 

I think of several occasion where mom and I even made a special shopping trip.

We picked out pretty material, a simple pattern, all the necessities.

 

Needless to say, it ended with a red faced, tear stained me

and a head scratching mother who couldn't understand why I couldn't get it.

 

After numerous tries, I gave up.

Accepted the fact that I would never be able to sew,

even though I really, really wanted to.

 

Since then I admit I have had moments of temptation...

it is quite inspiring when one of your friends can whip up beautiful clothes practically in her sleep.

 

But, I always remembered those tearful episodes, and mentally chided myself.

Some things just weren't possible.

Until one day...

A number of wonderful factors came together that changed all that.

One, I received some great advice and inspiration from one of my childhood heroes,
Kristi Yamaguchi.

There was a magazine lying around our house that had her smiling face on the cover,
I picked it up and read a great article she wrote about facing fears.

She said something that struck me right between the eyes,

"Why should a dream have some part of it that was so scary?
Why would I have to do something I feared in pursuing something I loved?"

Sounds so simple, I know.
But for me, that moment, it was a profound thought.

I realized fear was my big stumbling block when it came to sewing.

I was afraid of that machine, with all its buttons, bobbins, knobs and levers.
The scariest part was threading it...so many little holes and twists and turns.

It made me dizzy.

But no more.

Armed with Kristi's words and a determination to face this fear,
 I sat myself down in front of that machine, already threaded from mom's previous project,
...and...just...stared.

For probably 5 minutes, I mentally threaded that machine several times,
memorizing each little detour the string took on its way to the needle.

Then....*gulp*...I unthreaded the string, and soon it was weaving its way through the
eight-sequence maze until it was safe through the eye of the needle once again.

And you know what?
It made sense.


Everything fell into place.

It was like a veil was lifted,
the blinders were removed,
the hieroglyphics made sense.

I was still a beginner, I didn't know how to read a pattern yet, or how to sew a dart,
 but the hardest part was over.

I had faced my fears.

I had forgotten that...
“With man this is impossible,
but not with God;
all things are possible with God.”
Mark 10:27

There was no doubt in my mind that He had made it possible.

And the fun part?

It was Valentine's Day.

What a lovely gift...


"There is no fear in love.
But perfect love drives out fear"
1 John 4:18