"What scares you most?"
Loaded question, no?
Of course there are the usual things that pop into your head...
big bugs and snakes swirling around inside tornadoes...no?...just me? M'kay.
But then there are other things...more serious things.
What scares me most is this.
God has placed great potential in me, as in all of us.
What if I don't realize that potential?
What if I don't accomplish all that I'm capable of?
What I fear most is a wasted life.
When it comes to video games,
I am one of those people who go for broke.
I collect all the coins, break all the blocks, squash all the bad guys (Mario World, anyone?),
gather up all the bonuses and achieve expert on every level.
If I miss even one item, I'll restart and do it over because I want it just perfect.
For a long time, I felt that way about my life.
I've made some mistakes in my life, done things good Christian girls ought not do.
And I desperately wished for a restart button.
There were dark moments even, when I wished I could just quit because I knew I had missed my mark.
That is when God taught me about His grace.
Grace is God's restart button.
His mercies are new every morning.
So while I have relaxed my perfectionistic grip on life,
I still beg God to make my life count.
I'm don't want to get to heaven and see a picture of what my life was meant to be
only to realize I missed the mark because of fear or stubbornness.
In some ways,
I'm most scared of myself.
I most afraid of the chances I won't take,
the people I'm too afraid to talk to,
the prayers I'm too busy to pray,
and the words I'm too afraid to speak.
Even my fear of a wasted life,
as noble or good as it may seem,
is still fear...it is still not good.
I have to remind myself that
Jesus is the author and perfecter of my faith (Hebrews 12:2).
If He wrote my story, He'll finish it.
And He will make perfect what I cannot.
He will finish the work He started in me (Phil. 1:6), the work He started...not I, but He.
And He has a plan for my life (Jere. 29:11) and even before I was born He knew me
(Jere. 1:5) and knowing me, He knew what my strengths and weaknesses would be.
And I guess the only way I know how to end this post
is by leaving you with this verse.