Monday, February 3, 2014

Day 3#: What Scares Me

"What scares you most?"

Loaded question, no?

Of course there are the usual things that pop into your head...
big bugs,
big bugs and snakes swirling around inside me? M'kay.

But then there are other things...more serious things.

What scares me most is this.
God has placed great potential in me, as in all of us.
What if I don't realize that potential?
What if I don't accomplish all that I'm capable of?
What I fear most is a wasted life.

When it comes to video games,
I am one of those people who go for broke.
I collect all the coins, break all the blocks, squash all the bad guys (Mario World, anyone?),
gather up all the bonuses and achieve expert on every level.
If I miss even one item, I'll restart and do it over because I want it just perfect.
For a long time, I felt that way about my life.
I've made some mistakes in my life, done things good Christian girls ought not do.
And I desperately wished for a restart button.
There were dark moments even, when I wished I could just quit because I knew I had missed my mark.
That is when God taught me about His grace.
Grace is God's restart button.
His mercies are new every morning.
So while I have relaxed my perfectionistic grip on life,
I still beg God to make my life count.
I'm don't want to get to heaven and see a picture of what my life was meant to be 
only to realize I missed the mark because of fear or stubbornness.
In some ways, 
I'm most scared of myself.
I most afraid of the chances I won't take,
the people I'm too afraid to talk to,
the prayers I'm too busy to pray,
and the words I'm too afraid to speak. 

Even my fear of a wasted life,
as noble or good as it may seem,
is still is still not good.

Do not be afraid!
I have to remind myself that
Jesus is the author and perfecter of my faith (Hebrews 12:2).
If He wrote my story, He'll finish it.
And He will make perfect what I cannot.
He will finish the work He started in me (Phil. 1:6), the work He started...not I, but He.
And He has a plan for my life (Jere. 29:11) and even before I was born He knew me
(Jere. 1:5) and knowing me, He knew what my strengths and weaknesses would be.
 And I guess the only way I know how to end this post
is by leaving you with this verse.

"What, then, shall we say in response to this? 
If God is for us, who can be against us?"
Romans 8:31 


  1. You sound so much like me. I have a hard time remembering to "let go and let God!" Thank you for the encouraging words!

    1. Isn't it amazing how we have such a hard time with that? He is the creator of the universe, He created time and space, yet we can't see it fit to trust Him with our tomorrows. :) I'm glad they were encouraging to you! Thanks for commenting.

  2. You kinda hit the nail on the head for me as well. Especially when you were comparing to perfecting every level before moving on to the next.
    I can be like that as well and also fear that I won't live my life to His full potential he would like to see in me. Especially with my family now and my future family. There's been so many times that I wish I could hit a restart button and try to do better the next time around.
    I like how you put "Grace is God's restart button" for us. That really helps it to put it into perspective for me.

    Thank you for sharing Desarae! It's always encouraging to know that others are at the same levels and areas as you and that you're not the only one struggling and you don't feel so alone.
    I'll definitely be lifting you up in my prayers.


    1. I'm glad you can identity with this and that it was helpful for you! :) You are right, so often we keep our struggles to ourselves, but when we share them we realize we aren't the only ones, and just getting those fears out in the open drains much of their power away! Thank you for your prayers! I will do the same for your, Kayla!

  3. "Grace is God's restart button." I LOVE that! Thanks so much for sharing your heart with us!

    1. Thanks for stopping by, Bailey, and for spearheading such a great writing month. :)


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